SEA BATS,
FOBBITS AND
GOANNA FARMS
“IT is not often that a man can be in at the birth, the flourishing maturity and the apparent death of a complete mythology.” — W.E. Woosnam-Jones
Oftentimes, the trivialities of war, with their occasional futility, have long been a spark of clever and unusual reactions from the public at home. But more so, those who have proven no less immune to a similar, witty spontaneity are none other than the soldiers, sailors and airmen themselves. Servicemen and women have always been remarkable in their inventive imagination as well as in their penchant for practical jokery.
Phillip Sharpe, former U.S. Navy electrician’s mate, recounted many such instances during his time aboard the U.S.S. Kearsarge in 2006. Hijinks of American sailors involved such gags as having U.S. Marines stand in lines to nowhere and sending new recruits to retrieve, “fallopian tubes.” The latter gag often involved new arrivals being redirected, again and again, from section to section. This cycle would repeat itself until their fellow crewmates would offer the “victim” a quick lesson in female anatomy. In a similar vein, sailors were also sent on occasion to fetch “fuse chargers,” “PU 55 Yankee forms” and a “MM Punch.” To obtain the last one, a seaman had to go down to boiler room and demand one from the Machinist's mate (I.E. MM) at the request of which their fellow crewman would simply punch them.1
Moreover, among the myriad myths aboard U.S. naval vessels there exists open discussion on the subject of sea bats. Sea bats are reportedly similar to the common family of vesper bats, except they only inhabit seafaring ships. Sea bats stowaway in chain lockers and subside on rodents and algae that form along the bulkheads.2 They are notably fierce and extreme caution must be taken when encountering them. A recurring joke is played by placing a ball in a large box or other container set upside-down on the floor. The rolling tide causes the ball to move back and forth giving the impression of an animal trapped just underneath.3 Any sailor wanting to get a closer look has to bend over, as the container can only be lifted a couple of inches off the ground to prevent the “animal” from escaping. They are however considerably cautioned and told that the sea bat has a painful bite. Once the victim is in position, a designated “broom custodian” would then give them a swift, hard whack from behind.4
Sea bats real or imaginary comprise an interesting piece of naval heritage. It may be surmised that the name comes from any one of a host of naval aerial vehicles bearing the same name. “Sea bat,” was the U.S. Navy’s moniker for the Sikorsky H-34 helicopter. The very same aircraft is known as the, “Sea Horse,” in the Marine Corps and “Choctaw” among U.S. soldiers.5 Other possible origins within the U.S. military include the unarmed drone PA-4 Sea-Bat6 as well as the MH-6 helicopter due to its design for nighttime operations.7 Surely, the myth of the sea bat will always hold its place in the chronicles of military antics.
Another intriguing entity, often encountered in the armed forces, is the “fobbit.” Unlike the sea bat, the fobbit is a creature I can attest to personally having encountered a dozen or so of such irascible entities during my term of service (U.S. Army 2007-2011). In appearance the fobbit varies considerably being sometimes tall and gaunt while other times plump and short. Regardless of such variations, the fobbit is almost certainly out-of-shape and is a creature held in much ill repute. Its habitat is strictly confined to U.S. Army Forward Operating Bases, or FOBs. Fobbit, the name, itself, being a portmanteau of “FOB” and “hobbit.”
Michael Watts, former U.S. Army information technology specialist (“radio man” typically in a combat life-saving capacity), reported being “personally inconvenienced” by fobbits and feels like he is “subject to compensation” due to their antics. Watts related:
“They are reclusive creatures who have an uncanny ability to complain about everything and purchase all nicotine products prior to ‘the fighting force[’s]’ return. They are often times found in groups talking about all of the ‘Rambo’ style things they would do sometimes even attributing their ‘badassery’ as to why they ‘aren’t’ allowed out. These creatures migrate to places with AC and entertainment, [they are] not often found in the gym.”8
As hinted by Watt’s account, the entity is not a dangerous critter. On the contrary, it is as weak, defenseless and pitiful a thing as one may ever chance to encounter. Additionally, those who have met with their fair share of the beast, and are best able to judge, can readily attest to its unkempt visage and overpowering body odor. Again, the fobbit is not a formidable brute, but it has been known to emit an unceasing, ear-splitting whine when cornered or confronted with actual work or the presence of danger. For Fobbits almost never leave their darkened dens, if they can help it, favoring their own personal safety over all other things. Unfortunately, there is no known remedy for fobbits; however, they may be yet deterred in their habits if sent to retrieve a “box of grid squares.” The fobbit, while and interesting piece of unnatural history, is certainly one of but not the best example of the military’s heightened imagination. For that honor can only be bestowed on one peculiarity and one alone—the onset of the gremlin to the front-lines.
It is difficult to say whether the gremlin was a practical joke, a means of passing blame or a serious consequence of increased wartime paranoia. What is for certain, however, is that reports of little sprites causing malfunctions to military equipment was relatively common. According to one W. E. Woosnam-Jones, the first reports of Gremlins circulated through the British Royal Air Force around 1917. Thoroughly detailed, Woosnam-Jones’ article goes on to described the little imps and their, “wicked sense of humour.” In appearance Gremlins wear clothes, much like people do, and favor red windbreakers with green trousers. They were particularly infamous for their great thirst for airplane fuel and often enjoyed drinking the petrol nearly dry. At times, Gremlins mix up signal lights confusing pilots, swipe spark plugs or even went so far as to hang on an aircraft’s wings throwing it off balance.9 Despite commanders regarding Gremlins as a distraction from the genuine war effort, the mischievous creatures were inevitably to become a part of it.
In the midst of the second world war, the Curtiss-Wright Corporation’s airplane division devised a campaign to increase their war effort without decreasing workers’ morale. In April of 1943 the company teased its initiative, entitled, “Back Up Our Battleskies,” with letters bearing, “BUOB” painted on walls, floors and parking lots.10 A parade of Gremlins, a key motif of the campaign, portrayed by little people and children in costume marked the campaign’s inception. On the whole, the campaign owed much of its strength to a system of honors and privileges. Workers who earned the mark of being a “100% Production Soldier” could obtain anything from country club memberships, reserved-parking spaces, tennis court perks and bowling alley privileges as well as special consideration for promotion.11 Other workers earned honors such as pin or leader flags that distinguished their section as especially productive.12 Aside from its reward system, posters hung throughout the plant, which stressed the importance of safety and attendance. Such posters varied in their appearance and message but still retained gremlins as a central theme. Lavishly illustrated, the posters carried such slogans as, “Gremlins LOVE to pitch things at your EYES! Wear safety Goggles!”13 or “Gremlins are floor greasers! Watch your step!”14 Within the campaign, itself, workers were encouraged to make safety displays highlighting various concerns. One noted entry featured a mock-up gremlin dangling from a noose, underneath with letters reading, “We got Gremlins by the neck.”15 Overall, the campaign was highly successful. After six months, Aviation magazine reported that time saved by eliminating absences and boosting efficiency was enough to build three-hundred, new fighter planes.16 Gremlins would conitune to soar in popularity across several forms of media until the end of the war. While the most popular, gremlins certainly were not the last topical myth among airmen of the World War II era.
Within the vast archives of the Australian War Memorial item number P09658.001 could easily be overlooked as just another among the thousands of outdoor portraits. The photograph depicts three smiling Australian airmen, in front of an unmarked building, right after graduating from the Canadian Bombing and Gunnery School. The scene is a mundane one and nothing about it seems to encourage further interest. The only marginal detail that might suggest otherwise is a small, newspaper clipping the airmen are proudly displaying. The text is almost too small to read, but upon closer inspection the blurry characters come to form the heading, “Canada Learns about Bunyip Hunts and Goanna Farms.”17
Common among RAAF members training in Canada at the time was a host of gags played on their foreign counterparts. Throughout their training period, Australian airmen would tell Canadian service members and journalists fantastic stories of drungos, goannas and bunyips. Drungos were animals that slept with their heads under waterfalls. Reportedly these animals were exceedingly high jumpers and worst than termites in their feeding on wooden structures. But the creature’s most unusual attribute, akin to the myths concerning lemmings, is their habit of suicide. The animal once tired of its bored existence repeatedly bashes its head against mountain peaks putting itself out of its misery.
The goanna was another animal frequently mentioned; however, one with a more concrete basis. Despite the fact that goannas are real lizards, of the monitor family, and are fairly common throughout Australia, this did not stop Canadian newspapers from writing them off as entirely fictitious. The newspaper article “Spoiled Good Stories,” published April 2, 1942, asserts in no uncertain terms that, “It appears that the drungo, the bunyip and the goanna are mythical Australian fauna on a par with those Western Canadian beasties, the side-hill gouger and the Alberta kiwi-bird.” Yet, while the goanna is a real animal, the stories RAAF members told of it could scarcely be further from the truth. The airmen reported that goannas could be milked and were raised on ranches for this express purpose. Moreover, they conveyed that goanna milk had medicinal properties and could cure even the toughest hangover.
The last of the airmen’s myths was the bunyip. The bunyip is actually an authentic legend, featuring prominently in stories told by the Australian Aborigines throughout the centuries. But, much like the factual goanna, the stories told to the Canadian populace did not necessarily reflect established conventions. In the RAAF members’ versions, the whimsical bunyip only resemble its mythical counterpart in that it was depicted as a large, aquatic mammal. Yet the airmen took artistic liberties in giving the bunyip a pair of sizable horns that protrude from the creature’s, “posterior.”18 All in all, it is irrefutable that, if naught else, wartime myths surely had an extensive and certainly colorful existence.
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1 Phillip Sharpe (U.S. Navy GWOT Veteran) in discussion with the author, March 2015.
2 Gary W. Halsey Sr., “Sea Bats Are Indigenous To the West Pacific,” Booksie, 2015, http://tinyurl.com/nzqmznk.
3 Ken Groom, “Sea Bats - A Story of Mystery and Intrigue,” U.S.S. Hancock: Oral History, February 15, 2002, http://usshancockcv19.com/oralhistory/kengroom/seabats.htm.
4 Ellie Kay, Heroes at Home: Help and Hope for America’s Military Families. (Bloomington: Bethany House Publishers, 2012). PDF e-book.
5 Bill Maloney, “Sikorsky UH-34J Sea Bat Helicopter,” Delaware Valley Historical Aircraft Association Museum, February 5, 2008, http://tinyurl.com/lgaf969.
6 U.S. Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation, Propelled Lighter-Than-Air Vehicles (Honolulu: University Press of the Pacific, 2001), 69. PDF e-book. https://books.google.com/books?id=zvmERfp7hXYC&dq.
7 Craig L. Symonds, Decision at Sea: Five Naval Battles That Shaped American History (New York:Oxford University Press, 2005), 290-291. PDF e-book. https://books.google.com/books?id=3Te8UfCpV7MC&dq.
8 Michael Watts (U.S. Army OIF Veteran; TOS 2005-2012) in discussion with the author, September 2020.
9W. E. Woosnam-Jones, “Gremlins,” The Spectator (London), January 01, 1943. http://archive.spectator.co.uk/article/1st-january-1943/7/gremlins.
10 Benjamin W. Corrado, “Curtiss-Wright Drive Boosts Employees Morale,” American Machinist 88, no. 3 (1944): 385, https://books.google.com/books?id=10BQAAAAYAAJ&q.
11Corrado, 388, 385.
12 “C-W Airplane Division’s Year- Round War Production Drive,” Aero Digest 42, June (1944): 237-239, https://books.google.com/books?id=10BQAAAAYAAJ&q.
13 War Production Board, “Gremlins love to pitch things at your eyes. Wear safety goggles. Back up our battleskies!” 1944, National Archives, 535379, U.S. National Archives and Records Administration, http://research.archives.gov/description/535379.
14 War Production Board, “Gremlins are floor greasers! Watch your step! Back up our battleskies!” 1944, National Archives, 535378, U.S. National Archives and Records Administration, http://research.archives.gov/description/535378.
15Corrado, 388.
16 “Curtiss-Wright Reports BUOB Campaign Results,” Aviation 43, (1944): 250, https://books.google.com/books?id=Ui1QAAAAYAAJ&q.
17“Outdoor portrait of three Australian RAAF observers...” 1942, Australian War Memorial: Collections, P09658.001, Australian War Memorial, https://www.awm.gov.au/collection/P09658.001.
18 "Spoiled Good Stories." The Carbon Chronicle, April 2, 1942, 3. Peel’s Prairie Provinces http://peel.library.ualberta.ca/newspapers/ (Ar00305).